Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, 5th December
21:00 on BBC Two
This is a docu/drama which is the true story of how the body of a dead and unknown tramp changed the course of WW2
My son's partner plays the girlfriend, Pam.
She is in Brisbane for a couple of weeks so will miss the broadcast so we have all got our recorders at the ready.
There are one or two trailers for the proramme currently being shown on the beeb but below is a link to another which will copy and paste intp browser.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
WORKING PEOPLE FREQUENTLY ASK RETIRED PEOPLE WHAT THEY DO TO MAKE THEIR DAYS INTERESTING.
WELL,FOR EXAMPLE ,THE OTHER DAY MY WIFE AND I WENT TO TOWN AND WENT INTO A SHOP.
WE WERE ONLY IN THERE FOR ABOUT 5 MINUTES.WHEN WE CAME OUT,THERE WAS A COP WRITING A PARKING TICKET.
WE WENT UP TO HIM AND SAID"COME ON MATE, HOW ABOUT GIVING A SENIOR CITIZEN A BREAK?"
HE IGNORED US AND CONTINUED WRITING THE TICKET. I CALLED HIM AN OFFICIOUS TURD.
HE GLARED AT ME AND STARTED WRITING ANOTHER TICKET FOR WORN TYRES,
SO MY WIFE CALLED HIM A *ICKHEAD.
HE FINISHED THE SECOND TICKET AND PUT IT ON THE WINDSHIELD WIIH THE FIRST.
THEN HE STARTED WRITING THE THIRD TICKET.THIS WENT ON FOR ABOUT 20 MINUTES.
THE MORE WE ABUSED HIM THE MORE TICKETS HE WROTE.
PERSONALLY,WE DIDN'T CARE.WE CAME INTO TOWN BY BUS.
WE TRY TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN EACH DAY NOW WE'RE RETIRED.
IT'S IMPORTANT AT OUR AGE.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Yet another missed opportunity, Paul!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
This was on the charts the day I arrived in Northern Ontario. The music seemed to fit the vistas I was experiencing. (The piece was, to my mind, ruined when some yank put words to it..) I now live in the middle of part of the inspiration ... Diane is closer to the sunrise at 'Isle Bonaventure' which is also spectacular (Google a video version yourselves) Cheers Bill.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Was it Fred or Bill who mentioned 'at this moment in time'? At this moment in what else, for God's sake......sausage?
I also have an aversion to compounded words being written as compound words. This is English, not German. We have suffixes and prefixes - and hyphens. They are there for a reason. Not criticising German you understand, they are perfectly entitled to do things their way. Sadly, their way has become ours via USA where something close to 50% of the population claim German heritage - with a considerable contribution to AMERICAN LIKE WOT SHE IS SPOKE!
Somehow, though, the greatest abhorrence occurs in Louisiana - where the influence is predominantly French with a dash of Spanish, German and Creole (the latter known locally as Boogaloo) - we British were vanquished at the Battle of New Orleans (although I argue this was a change of wind in river conditions rather than military brilliance or superiority). Such gems as 'What you done did?' and 'Where yo momma be at?', 'Where you gonna be at?' are common parlance - and I was taught that ending a sentence with a preposition was the eighth deadly sin!
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the
belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking
for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I
can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Wondered if anyone remembers my sister who very sadly died whilst at school in January 1955 after returning from Christmas Hols. We were living in Dusseldorf at the time and I was only 10 but remember so clearly her stories of PRS. Would love to hear frome someone
if you let me know I will give you the contact details
Unfortunately the next New Cavalier has gone to print so we can't put anything in there till next March now - but some of you from 50's might be able to help?
Lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an
Last week, we took some friends to a
new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the
waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt
It seemed a little strange. When the busboy
brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also
had a spoon in his shirt pocket.
Then I looked
around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their
When the waiter came back to serve our
soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'
explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen
Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several
months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the
most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a
drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per
hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce
the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15
man-hours per shift.'
As luck would have it, I
dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his
'I'll get another spoon next time I go to
the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it
right now.' I was impressed.
I also noticed that
there was a string hanging out of the waiter's
Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters
had the same string hanging from their flies.. So, before
he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can
tell me why you have that string right there?'
certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is
observant. The consulting firm I mentioned also learned
that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this
string to the tip of our you-know what, we can pull it
without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our
hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by
I asked quietly, "After you get it out, how
do you put it back?'
'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't
know about the others, but I use the
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
the use of popcorn as a stuffing ingredient -- imagine that. When I found
this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not
sure how to tell when turkey is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give
this a try.
8 - 15 lb. turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good)
1 cup un-popped popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT IS BEST)
Salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt,
Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan making sure the
neck end is toward the front of the oven, not the back.
After about 4 hours listen for the popping sounds.
When the turkey's arse explodes, blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room,.... it's done.
And, you thought I didn't cook...
Monday, November 15, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
The cruel war was over -- oh, the triumph was so sweet!We watched the troops returning, through our tears;There was triumph, triumph, triumph down the scarlet glittering street,And you scarce could hear the music for the cheers.And you scarce could see the house-tops for the flags that flew between;The bells were pealing madly to the sky;And everyone was shouting for the Soldiers of the Queen,And the glory of an age was passing by.And then there came a shadow, swift and sudden, dark and drear;The bells were silent, not an echo stirred.The flags were drooping sullenly, the men forgot to cheer;We waited, and we never spoke a word.The sky grew darker, darker, till from out the gloomy rackThere came a voice that checked the heart with dread:"Tear down, tear down your bunting now, and hang up sable black;They are coming -- it's the Army of the Dead."
Friday, November 12, 2010
- The thingis is......
- The factis is......
- The reasonis is.......
and perhaps my least favourite example:
- What itis is.......
That's ALMOST as annoying as 'there ARE a number of.........'
Friday rant over! Have a good weekend you lot.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it
was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from
penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down
in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad
vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only
things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at
three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the
roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Monday, November 08, 2010
He leans his gun against a tree.
Just then, a gust of wind blows, the gun falls over and
Discharges, shooting him in the genitals.
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his Doctor.
"Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is
That you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, but
There was very little internal damage and we were able to remove all of
"What's the bad news?" asked the hunter.
"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage
Done to your penis which left quite a few holes in it. I'm going to
Have to refer you to my sister."
"Well I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied. "Is your sister
A plastic surgeon?"
Not exactly," answered the doctor. "She's a flute player in the West
Virginia Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you where to put your
Fingers so you don't pee in your eye."