Thursday, October 31, 2013

Another smile!

A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II In light of closing down of the Government in the USA and thus the inability to govern yourselves, We hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.) Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: -----------------------
 
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary'). ------------------------
 
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.' -------------------
 
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. -----------------
 
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse. ----------------------
 
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public. ----------------------
 
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. --------------------
 
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it. -------------------
 
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar. -------------------
 
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion. ---------------------
 
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater. ---------------------
 
11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). ---------------------
 
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries. --------------------
 
13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad. -----------------
 
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776). ---------------
 
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season. God Save the Queen!
 
PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

A smile.......

A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because “in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.” The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door. The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing?” The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so get out and wait for a camel!"

calling all Yorkies!...

...seems Yorkshire is the third best region in the world to visit in 2014, according to travel guide company Lonely Planet...

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

OK a nice easy one



This young man was on many bedroom walls in the 60's but maybe not for his Rugby talents? So who is he?

Weymouth take 2


As we're into tests just now,

Here's a little gem from a renowned international golfer:
http://toys.usvsth3m.com/crapper-mapper/

Monday, October 28, 2013

Weymouth today

Had to go to a funeral in Weymouth today... So on the way back I 'checked out' the sea and it was still there and looking quite calm!! Certainly not Wavemouth then, bet it is now though I can hear the rain hammering down on my conservatory roof!!

Have been working on these for weeks and Happy Birthday Helga, soory I'm late!







     

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Friday, October 25, 2013

A annoyance.....or two.

Tell me, please, am I the only person who gets ticked off with the expression 'reach out'? Typically, I find this is used by telesales (REALLY ANNOYING) people peddling something which I neither need nor want. "Hello Bob, this is Mike from Acme Incendiary Suppository Corp. I thought I'd reach out to you Bob, because.......". Incidentally, I'm also mildly miffed by salespeople whom I am never ever likely to meet and who insist upon calling me Bob. Is that unreasonable? Am I alone here? Am I just a crotchety old fart?

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Three more little gems....

happy birthday...

...to Diane... as another page is turned in a couple of hours time!...

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Remember this?



Remember to TURN UP the volume. I have 7.1 surround sound - wow, back to 1962

Ain't life in the US wonderful (continued)


Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Ain't life wonderful.......?

Morris Schwartz is dying and is on his deathbed. He is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, and knows the end is near. So he says to them: "Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses." "Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza ." "Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Center ." "Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown". The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says to the wife, "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated so much property." Sarah replies, "Property, shmoperty...the schmuck had a newspaper round."

Monday, October 21, 2013

McLaren

Absolutely NO photos at all at the McLaren outfit in Woking, but what a visit! Out of this world for any motor racing fan. JB signed this for me and we were given the tour by Sam Michael, chief technical director.
Glad to hear Matron is on the mend. I remember her telling me at the Wilhelmshaven reunion how her and her family had nothing after the war and how she thought that she had won the lotto when offered a position at PRS. Particularly as she had no shoes to go to the interview and went in her fathers!

What a hoot!

Saturday, October 19, 2013

News for Drake boys especially

Quite a few of you may remember Frau Liselotte Bischoff or Lilo - Matron of Drake Boys 55 - 72 - we heard the other day that she had to go to hospital having had what appeared to be a 'medium' heart attack and has had angioplasty and a stent put in place - we sent a get well card on behalf of TWA and ex PRSites and have just received the following from her
To all my friends from TWA,
Thank you all very much for your good wishes in regards to my health. The picture of Fliegerdeich made me cry with joy and brought back memories of long ago.
Now that I´m at home I feel much better already. It is a lovely thought that there are dear people all over the world who wish me well, and I´m sure it will help me a lot

Love and danke schön
to you all

THE PIT (top secret)

 Don't know if I posted these before? should be scratch and sniff.Not a much sort after job within the company???.Niagara tunnel was a pleasant change.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Me and my girl Brighton today



My view this morning

I have the mirror Sherry bought me, I tell everyone who asks about the mirror all about that wonderful lady x

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Brighton


Okay so I managed to post a photo but it has taken me hours and I have forgotten how I did it.... Plus I think the world may now have access to my photos..... Oh no!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Oh Ye Of Little Faith

                                   Of course it fits, just had to have the nurse sit on my lap.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

So,How Was Your Day???

Oh shit it is getting late I had better go into town and get some spuds and bread.On returning home I see Freddiecakes has 5 items and non that resemble bread!!! dash back to the store on the reserve to correct this,yeah success.So after dinner having taken out the recycling box I decide to polish off the ice cream,okay Mr P lets put on the movie and have a cuppa.Well might as well put the ice cream container out in the box, good idea Gumby.Pitch black standing in my garage in my jammies after having successfully locked myself out.Hmm better cycle up the road to the neighbours(fortunately most people in the county have a key to my house) for these occasions.Lucky so far,its not the dead of winter and I am at least wearing pj's.Off I go a good 10 feet before said pj's get stuck in the chain!! curses Moriarty.Not too embarrassing really as my neighbours are older than moi and  probably see this as quite normal.

One from Diane

Stadt Wilhelmshaven / GGS: Erhaltet die beiden Bunker am Banter See in Wilhelmshaven

I just signed the petition "Stadt Wilhelmshaven / GGS: Erhaltet die beiden Bunker am Banter See in Wilhelmshaven" on Change.org.

It's important. Will you sign it too? Here's the link:

http://www.change.org/petitions/stadt-wilhelmshaven-ggs-erhaltet-die-beiden-bunker-am-banter-see-in-wilhelmshaven?share_id=zHQkqyVFYT&utm_campaign=signature_receipt&utm_medium=email&utm_source=share_petition

Couldn't resist this from the Telewag today - even though I think someone missed out the 'c' in the name!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/japan/10379946/Fukushima-Industries-unveils-its-new-mascot-Fukuppy.html

One from Carol

Thursday, October 10, 2013

INNER PEACE


And of course, I have got these 3 postings backwards...

 On Canadian soil again!
 The run up to the Bridge!
A view of our home province from the bridge!  Always a lovely site, but hard to see unless you are driving a high vehicle.  We weren't!!   Anyway, that's it - you need to start 2 postings down to get the journey into perspective.  One of these days I'll get it right.

More pics.

 In the White Mountains, N.H.  Couldn't resist this shot with the sky looking so amazing.
 Still the White Mountains, but slowly leaving them.
Just had to put this in as it is unique.  We stopped at the village of Topsham in Maine and this shop sold wood workings made by the prisoners at Maine State Penitentiary.  A truly amazing array of talent, but we weren't allowed to take pictures inside.  This is not a good photo of the life size motor cycle and two people in the window, all made from wood and painted.  If you enlarge it you can read the description and how long it took to make.  The prices of things for sale (the m/b wasn't) were very low and we did buy a couple of things.  I was in awe of the talent displayed - along with the 3 prison guards and several inmates who worked there!!  A unique place, and something that should be copied in our prisons.
 Early morning on the way home on Interstate 95 through Maine, a beautiful empty highway.
 Same highway, lots of colour.
I95 was closed for part of the way and we had to take a detour on Hwy 2, where we found this lovely view of Mt. Robinson and lake.  I am very glad the highway was closed or we wouldn't have seen this.

Trip to Maine and New Hampshire.

 On the way to the Confederation Bridge, about 7am.
 We chose to cross the border at St. Croix so that we could pass through this little town and see the wonderful old station, now used as a museum.  Only to find it closed!
 The actual station, sorry the sun was in the wrong place.
 Gorham, N.H. Visitor centre.  We decided not to hire a moose for a tour-))
 Gorham Town Hall.  Lovely building.
The view of part of Gorham from the other side of the green.  A really lovely little place.