This like the town hall!!!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on
sale, he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife,
"Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret looked him over. "Nope."
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back
into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.
Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything
Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, "Bert, what's different?
It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging
down again tomorrow."
Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"
"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.
"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"
Without missing a beat, Margaret replied, "Shoulda' bought a hat, Bert.
Shoulda' bought a hat."
Monday, November 28, 2011
Montana and he sees a sign in front of a
broken down shanty-style house:
'Talking Dog For Sale '..
He rings the bell and the owner appears
and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a
nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of
hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that
I could talk when I was pretty young..
I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.
In no time at all they had me jetting from
country to country, sitting in rooms with
spies and world leaders, because no one
figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for
eight years running...
But the jetting around really tired me out,
and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so
I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job
at the airport to do some undercover security,
wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible
dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'
'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and
now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks
the owner what he wants for the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on
earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's a liar. He's never been out of
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Gary Speed began his playing career at Leeds United after coming through the trainee ranks, and was part of the side that won the last Football League title in 1992, before the introduction of the Premier League. His tally of 85 caps is a record for an outfield player. R.I.P.
This is a Seehund midget sub being lifted out of somewhere in WHV.(Bantersee)??
Only 138 of these were commisioned into the Kreigsmarine and not until late 1944.
Am still trying to find out if some were scuttled in the Bantersee.
This foto from 1945 onward. I have others showing workmen, they do not look like Royal Navy personnel.
Anyone any info?
Friday, November 25, 2011
"1948 - Weserstrasse with traffic-sign of the occupation forces"
As "H.M.S. Royal Rupert" is to the right and the "Naval Officer in Charge" is straight ahead (his H.Q. was on the far side of the Kaiser Wilhelm Brücke), the location must be to the west of the junction with Jadestr.
Interestingly, it also gives directions to the "Royal Naval Yacht club (Officers)". . . All play and no work for the occupation forces?
. . . Come to that, what about the "other ranks"? Did they have to make do with rowing boats I wonder?
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Arriving at Kossuth Tér, I decided to re-visit the parliament building. Some years ago I went on one of the guided tours that they do, in various languages - it cost £4 then (free for Hungarians), It's now £7.50, but free for E.U. citizens (of any age). The inside of the building is really stupendous and makes up for the endless queueing and the inevitable security checks.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
A gas station owner near Camden, Alabama was trying to increase his sales. So he put up a sign that read
“Free Sex with Fill-Up."
Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex.
The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.
The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close! The number was 7.
Sorry. No sex this time."
A week later, the same redneck, along with his brother, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up.
Again he asked for his free sex.
The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.
The redneck guessed 2 this time.
The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but NO free sex this time."
As they were driving away, the redneck said to his brother, "I think that game is RIGGED, and he doesn't really give away FREE Sex."
Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged. My WIFE won twice last week."
Monday, November 21, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.
2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.
3. No one is listening until you pass wind.
4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
8.. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.
13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
14.. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse - then things just keep getting worse.
20. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Sorry have been absent from “parade” for a while. Had a bit of “trouble! but fine now and will be down “sarf” this week-end with a visit to the “smoke” on Monday.
Came across this earlier
A Petty Officer prisoner stated that considerable damage was done by air raids to residential areas, four rows of houses being completely wrecked in one district.The Wilhelmshaven Post Office was said to have been destroyed during a mass attack.
Other prisoners admitted that half of the Tausend Mann barracks had been wrecked.
U-Boat personnel was housed, according to prisoners, in the old Stationsgebäude; it was not known whether this was a temporary or a permanent arrangement.
Anyone locate the underlined places for me.
Squirrel, about to hibernate as temperature is down to 65!