Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Whilst on the subject of Eastern Europe.......

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.

However, one day the man rushed into a lawyer's officeand asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand.

Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean what are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland .

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?
I got proof.

What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read English pretty good, and it say:

~~~Polish Remover~~~

A Palace, and the record set straight...

Part of the West front of the Festetics (pronounced "Fesh-tet-itch") Palace in the West Balaton town of Keszthely (pron. "Kest-hey").

In a comment to a recent(ish) post, Paul opined that I'm an "Anglo-Hungarian tax exile ...[living] in a former royal palace".

To set the record straight:

"-Hungarian...", The only connection I have with Hungary is that I have chosen to live here. Ten years ago I had never even visited the country.

"Anglo-...", Nor am I even slightly English (despite living in England for over 30 years), I prefer to describe myself as "British". Most Hungarians suffer the same delusion as most other non-Britons, thinking that British=English. In this village I am usually referred to as "Bruce az angol"(Bruce the Englishman), or just "az angol". Even official documents refer to my birthplace and citizenship as "Nagybritannia"(Great Britain), whereas the latter at least should, by rights, be "Egyesült Kiralyság"(United Kingdom).

"tax exile...", All my income derives from the U.K. so I am as liable to U.K. income tax as if I still lived there, I have to file an annual tax return with HMRC. On the other hand , I do escape the dreaded Council tax (the local equivalent is about one twentieth of what I paid in Britain), but there again, VAT here is 25% (ouch!).

Oh, and the Festetics Palace was not a royal residence, the Festetics family were "Nobility" rather than "Royalty". Of course I Don't live there, my "palace" is a perfectly ordinary 3-bedroom house built in the 1990s behind the Festetics Residence (more precisely, 20 miles behind!). I just posted the picture because it's a rather nice-looking building. :)

Sziasztok!
Bruce

One for Bob and the MG fans


Monday, August 30, 2010

Paraprosdokian Sentences

A paraprosdokian is ............. oh bloody hell ........... look it up! I had to.



I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I
stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not
screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the
list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it
in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then
proceed to tell you why it isn't.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a
train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes
a whole box to start a campfire?

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that
you don't need it.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president
and 50 for Miss America ?

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
successful man is usually another woman.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute
to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good
ideas!

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way
that you will look forward to the trip.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even
if you wish they were.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live
with.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and
a shot of tequila.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire
Department usually uses water.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you
hit the target.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no
imagination whatsoever.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as
when you are in it.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some
people have more than one child?

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

On the MG theme



Spotted in Helmsley North Yorks on Sunday

NOW I understand!

Those laundry marks...

Good morning all - after reading about the laundry marks in an earlier post, just had to root out my old handerchief case from PRS days. Its a tad yellowed now, but I just cant part with it.
The laundry marks - note the green stitches (for Howe) the original mark was H7 when I first went to PRS in January 1951, then when the boys were "banished" from the mixed houses, the laundry mark was changed to A11, you can see where my Mum crossed out the H7. I know that some of the blog members from later years didnt realise that the marks were changed, so here is proof.

...for Freddiecakes! :)

happy birthday to you...
squashed tomatoes and stew...
egg and bacon fer breakfast...
happy birthday to you...

happy birthday freddiecakes.

starting to think you guys dont love me anymore,so I am officially sulking.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Saturday, August 28, 2010

this day, thirteen years ago...

...it was a wonderful, sunny day!...

Laundry marks

Collingwood Boys L
Collingwood Girls E
Drake Boys H
Drake Girls B
Howe Boys P
Howe Girls A
Rodney Boys M
Rodney Girls C
Frobisher Junior Girls S
Hood Junior Girls D

In the early days
Collingwood C
Drake D
Howe H
Matthews M
Rodney R

Friday, August 27, 2010

BMW 320 tdse


Could not get my laundry number H40 so who was H11?

One for Bob, Helga and Diane



This is our MG. Not quite in the same league as the MGA but nevertheless, rather jolly with the hood down.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Trumpet Vine

This is our Trumpet Vine, not quite as many blooms as last year.
This picture has a hummingbird hovering just inside the top bloom on the left. He was outside the flower when I aimed the camera, but the little devil hid inside it when I pressed the shutter.

In this picture the hummingbird is inside the bottom trumpet bloom on the left. He just would not stay out hovering while I snapped. Anyway click on it, you might see his wing:))


One for the petrol heads




The other pilot's car

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Japanese Hotel service

A Canadian salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo Japan ..

Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.

'I'm afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him apologetically, 'but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.'

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.

Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read: 'Manicures, $20.00'.
'Why not?' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.

The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.'

The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, made a rather personal insertion into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off.

With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit........ Which now had a button sewn neatly on the end.

Men and Women

Wife: What are you doing?
Husband: Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.
Husband: I was looking for the expiry date.
-------------------------------
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure! What are my choices?
Wife: Yes or no.
--------------------------------------------------------
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
------------------------------
Son: Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
________________________________
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?’
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, no matter who left you a fortune!
------------------------------------------------------------
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humour!'

Fleet or should I say Farnborough



The lovely Norma causing sensation arriving with husband in somewhat flash motor

Not sure what I am doing - look quite startled anyway



The lovely Jack - and not in pink


Frances Burroughs the lucky raffle winner with one of our artists prints


And the man himself

For Eileen

Because we had wonderful weekend

Monday, August 23, 2010

Neice Lise outside Nice


Lise is a purser on board large private yachts sailing the Meddi and was a dive master at a lodge in Fiji for a number of years. (not bad for a girl from Kirkland Lake) She is getting married this summer to a lad from Liverpool (Pilot) Her mum (Kathy's youngest sister) lives in Vancouver. Another of the family from KL. is in Afghanistan for his 9th (and final) tour. He is a mtce mechanic for Voyageur Airlines who have two Dash 8 aircraft leased to the Dutch contingent (they have finished their tour) he goes for 6 months at a time and gets paid for 12 @ rate of US $ 4500.00 per week! He is also getting married this summer and has bought a 4 acre spread on the shores of Lake Nipissing in the town of Sturgeon Falls. Shows you how dying to get out of a small mining town can motivate a person

The Pilot's other vehicle


The chopper pilot seems to be making a decent living!

She want's one for Christmas





The Robinson R22 currently £225.000 although there was a 1990 model for sale, a snip at £43,000

Ontario trip

One hour into the 23 and more hours journey from Moncton, NB to Toronto, Ont. Boys are content, having a picnic etc. They were really very good for both journeys, just an occasional blip, sorted out by Grammie in short order:)
A restful place on my friends deck, many a peaceful hour spent reading, chatting, drinking coffee or wine.

The other end of their garden, so much in so small a space. Loved it.


The Badlands in Ontario, I'm sure Lofty or mr p know where this is. I have to admit it is the first time I had seen them, even though I lived in Ontario for 20 yrs.



And that, folks, is about it for photos that would be of any interest to you. I wish I had taken more of the train journey, but much of it was overnight. The train from Moncton to Montreal was called The Ocean and had two locos pulling it. Parts of the trip through New Brunswick and Quebec were through swamp, so the speed was less than thrilling. I suppose if it had gone any faster I wouldnt be posting this!:) Coming back through the Matapedia valley in Quebec was lovely, beside a river, lots of wild life, hawks, eagles etc. And once we got to Campbellton New Brunswick, we were looking out to sea, it was fascinating. Going up that part of the journey was in darkness. The train from Montreal to Union Station, Toronto was faster, and some of it was alongside Lake Ontario. The boys said it looked like an ocean. Would I do it again? Not with a child as young as 6 who has no concept of time, and wanted to fly anyway!! I told him if he grew wings he was quite welcome to take off at any time - this after being told umpteen times that he was bored and like planes better! After that, he settled down and was good for the most part. As for Grammie, I'm still tired:))




Sunday, August 22, 2010

A Little Bit of Nonsense!

Very interesting....
Question 1:
                  If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids
                 Already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and
                 She had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
                 Read the next question
                 Before looking at the response for this one.
Question 2:
                  It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote
                 Counts.
                 Here are the facts about the three candidates.
Candidate A:
                 Associates with crooked politicians and consults with
                 Astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to
                 10 Martinis a day.
Candidate B:
                  He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used
                 Opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C:
                  He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke,
                 Drinks an occasional beer and never committed adultery.
                 Which of these candidates would be our choice?
                  Decide first... No peeking, and then scroll down for the
                 Response





                 Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
                 Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
                 Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.
                  And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:
                 If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.
                 Pretty interesting isn't it?
Makes a person think before judging someone.
                 Remember:
                 Amateurs ... Built the ark.
                 Professionals ... Built the Titanic

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Too hot to chase this round the garden!

P8210004

So I left it alone!

Have a good one…………………….

Hot

Friday, August 20, 2010

for those who wonder who Kevin and Perry are

This was Kevin's first appearance on his 13th birthday

for Paul...

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Our dog Izzy and geese.

With due deference to Dmitri and the excellent photos below:

We are hosts to a resident flock of twenty or thirty Canada geese and, twice a year, many thousands of their relatives drop in on their migratory way north or south for a brief visit and to crap all over everything. How is it that birds in flight can aim so well? Invariably if there is bird poop on my car, it’s on the window right before my eyes, damning any chance of safe, forward driving until it has been removed. Geese – or perhaps it’s just one goose - have an unerring sense of accuracy it seems. Maybe I did something unpleasant to someone in a former life and it is this person, now reincarnated as a goose, which regularly exacts his or her anatidaen revenge. The abundance of their unpleasant, semi-digested, ‘goose turd green’ mulch is, apparently, a canine delicacy and irresistible to Izzy - and to several other local dogs, whose owners are just as disgusted by (a) the stuff itself in such quantities and (b) the sight of our dogs actually scarfing it down!

Almost every morning during our dog walk, our resident flock will take to the sky. I cannot imagine why they bother expending all that energy, really, because they fly around for a few minutes and then land back where they started. Anyway, geese in flight are a noisy bunch and Izzy’s attention is focused on them almost as soon as they have taken to the sky. As they pass overhead, she jumps up in the air repeatedly, yelping loudly and very excitedly. I don’t know if she views them as a potential meal or is simply trying to join them in flight – although no amount of sky-stirring with those legs would get her airborne. It is probably an attempt at flight, though, because while she will stalk geese from a respectable distance on the ground, she learned the hard way not to get too close – so even Izzy knows they’re not really a potential meal.

Trouble at Mill Pond





Once the bête noire of American wildlife imports was the grey squirrel. Today it is fast becoming the Canada goose. Thankfully however on some British ponds the fight back has begun!
(photos are clickable)

Monday, August 16, 2010