Sunday, May 31, 2009

A message for Geoff.

Just wanted to thank you for the disco on Saturday evening Geoff. It was much appreciated by your friends,and I for one loved your choice of music.
Hope you and Lynne enjoy your holiday,and look forward to the pictures when you return.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Here's One for Mr P

Is this your old basketball adversary Mr P? This was taken at the Market Weighton, Giant Bradley day, which Chris Greener as Britains 2nd tallest man, attends every year. Due to poor health, for the last few years he said he wouldn't be able to make it, but he always turns up. This pic was taken in 2007 and although he attended last weeks event, he spent his time on a mobility scooter, so I wasn't able to get any pics of him at full height!

Bin travellin'

It is a quiet Blog, Bob, and I've been contributing to the silence by travelling the US in a busy couple of weeks. Couldn't make Cardiff, but I still managed to play tourist. Here's Mount St Helens - minus its top. One of those rare sunny days around Seattle.
Its 1 a.m. here in Oz watching the 2nd half of the FA Cup Final - and I wonder if the troops in Cardiff are watching or partying.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Hear that pin drop..........

WOW! Kinda quiet in here, isn't it?

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

A BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND AWAY

We drove through countryside like this:

And crossed rivers like this:

Whilst passing animals like these:


And rounding houses like this:

To get here - The fishing village of, 'Portsoy', on
the north coast of Aberdeenshire:


The fleet was out:

But the sunset was worth it:

All in all, there are about 15 old fishing villages
on this coast, (Portsoy the oldest, being
established as a burgh in 1550 - by Mary, Quenn
of Scots - with it's first harbour being built around
the same time).
Sadly the industry is now dead - But luckily for us
tourism is not. Triple L and I visited 10 of these
picturesque ports over this last, long, weekend.
Go discover Portsoy and stay overnight at the
Station Hotel you want regret it!
See you all in Bristol.

PRS revisited 2009

Yours truly on the Fliegerdeich on two weeks ago.Nostalgic return with my brother,who was too young to attend PRS but often visited on easy weekends. Main site looked terrible but Drake,Collingwood & Frobisher looked well cared for and really little changed. See you in Cardiff!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Sorry I can't be there!!!

Just want to say that I hope you all have a wonderful time at the reunion this weekend - so sorry I won't be there but I will be thinking of you! If there is a rendition of Simply the Best Babs, sing it for me!!!!!!

Just to remind ourselves



Couple of pics from Newbury - think you may recognise some of the people.. was it really 1995!!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

'tis a sunny day...

...on fliegerdeich this day!...

Some useful hints

THESE ARE AMAZINGLY SIMPLE AND EFFECTIVE

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD -40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

When all else fails, get a bigger hammer.

If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Friday, May 22, 2009

The man who began it....

No not Dr Scott - Richard O'Brien - has the films as well... good old Flash Gordon

Thursday, May 21, 2009

I love a challenge!

Check the earlier limerick posting, Paul :-)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

A Limerick

There once was a fellow from Ryde
Who fell down a toilet and died.
His brother next day
Went the very same way
And now they're interred, side by side.

A handy guide for our ladies.

These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say...

"IT'S A GUY THING"

Translated:* "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"

Translated:* "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"

Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"

Translated:* "I have no idea how it works."

"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."

Translated:* "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."

Translated:* "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."

Translated:* "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car

I've ever owned... but I forgot your birthday."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."

Translated:* "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."

Translated:* "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."

Translated:* "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"

Translated:* "What did you catch me at?"

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."

Translated:* "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."

Translated:* "I make the messes; she cleans them up."

I loathe automated telephone answering systems

Yesterday, I was trying to price a lubricant produced by Air BP for a client of mine. I have telephone numbers for the two Air BP lubricant offices in USA. One is constantly engaged, the other is a discontinued number. The website for Air BP gave me a telephone number for Air BP Americas - their head office. I called. A recorded message greeted me and, in extremely slow and very precise terms told me I had reached the voice mail for Air BP Americas and then proceeded to say I could contact a warm body by pressing '1'. I did so. A ringing tone ensued which just went on, and on, and on. I started again. I listened to the very deliberate and far to long notice again and tried again with the '1'. This time, the telephone was answered - by someone who was very polite but was unable to give me any numbers for Air BP lubricants which I did not already have and was unable to suggest why one of those numbers had been discontinued. The Air BP website has a 'contact us' tab - which invites me to complete an extremely detailed form, providing information entirely unrelated to my requirement, dispatch it into the ether and await a contact from Air BP.

I have found an equivalent to the Air BP product - produced by a competitor who actually employs people who are capable of answering telephones and quoting prices. Guess who will be getting the business!

:-)

One from Diane

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional..
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.


THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.


SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . .. . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . ..having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . . . .having money.
At age 50 success is . .. . having money.
At age 70 success is . ... . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . .. having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants..

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

My 1 day employment

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter,
a good find for many retirees,
I lasted less than a day......
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud,
unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids,
yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say,
'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7.
Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'
So I replied,
'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,
I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice.
Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

Help Line

http://www.yuuguu.com
For those that need help this could be useful. You can then ask your fellow bloggers to have a look see what you're doing wrong if somthing doesn't work. 

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Nothing changes..

Todays papers and news reports are full of this speech - most of you will know who it was I imagine - or can guess

It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place which you have dishonored by your contempt of all virtue and defiled by your every vice. Ye are a pack of mercenary wretches and like ESAU sell your country for a mess of pottage and like Judas betray your God for a few pieces of money. Is there a single virtue now remaining amongst you? Is there one vice you do not possess? Ye have no more religion than my horse. Gold is your God. Which of you has not bartered your conscience with bribes? Is there a man amongst you that has the least care for the good of the commonwealth? Ye furdid prostitutes have you not defiled this sacred place and turned the Lord's temple into a den of thieves by your immoral principles and wicked practices? Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation. You were deputed here to get grievances redressed; are not yourselves become the greatest grievance? Your country therefore calls upon me to to cleanse the Augean stable by putting a final period to your iniquitous proceedings in this house and which by God's help and the strength he has given me I am now come to do. I command ye therefore upon the peril of your lives to depart immediately out of this place... Go and get out, make haste ye venal slaves be gone - so take away that shining bauble there and lock up the doors".

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Spot the Fish!


In Canada we are allowed to keep our catch! 50 more and I'll have enough for chowder! (One bowl by Christmas)

Friday, May 15, 2009

I have absolutely no comment to make here.

A guy walked into a bar in Alabama and ordered a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looked up, expecting to see some pitiful yankee queer.

The bartender looked up and said, "You ain't from around here, are ya? Where ya from, boy?"

The guy said, "I'm from Iowa."

The bartender asked, "What the heck you do in Iowa?"

The guy responded, "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender asked, "Now just what the heck is a taxidermist?"

The guy said nervously, "I mount animals."

The bartender grinned and shouted out to the whole bar, "It's okay boys, he's one of us! "

Another survey :-)

Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.

To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.


And now, Bobby's off to the briar patch...................

Good news for the ladies

And sure the gents will appreciate it too.. just pity won't be in Britain in time for Cardiff...


ANY woman knows that finding the right bra can give them a boost in more ways than one.
Here’s one that makes the search easier. It is a bra which “remembers” the wearer’s shape.
The Smart Memory Bra, pictured right, contains memory foam – the revolutionary material which was invented for the US space programme.
And it could prove to be the most comfortable option ever.
Hidden in the bra’s cups, the foam reacts to changes in the woman’s body temperature and moulds itself perfectly around her curves.
The design, by Slovenian lingerie firm Lisca, also contains push-up pads to ensure the wearer has the maximum cleavage possible.
Designer Suzana Gorisek said: “When cold the material feels a bit rigid and hard, but the touch of your skin makes it soft and comfortably pleasant.
“As a woman’s body changes, so the size of the bra changes. That’s the advantage of this bra.”
The Dalila Smart Memory Bra promises to “make your cleavage fabulously seductive” and can be bought online for around £34.
The design also promises to retain the “oomph factor” after being packed in a suitcase as the memory foam will slowly return to its original shape.
The lingerie firm was formed in 1955 largely to mend stockings, but now sells its Lisca and Cheek brands all over Eastern Europe.
The company, for whom property tycoon Donald Trump’s wife Melania Knauss was once a model, plans to sell a newer version of the bra in Britain for around £25.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

he can run...

...but he can't hide!...

A few tings to amuse youself with whilst in a lift.

1. When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
4. Swat at flies that don’t exist.
5. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, “Shut up, all of you, just shut up!”
6. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, “Got enough air in there?”
7. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they’d like to play.
8. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they hear something ticking.
9. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
10. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
11. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
12. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, “I have new socks on.”
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, “This is my personal space!”
14. Fart loudly then exclaim “Was that you. There’s no way I could do that one because unfortately mine don’t come out loud.”
15. Before the elevator door opens shout “DING” and then laugh and say “beat you again Mr Elevator.”
16. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
17. Hire a labrador, wear sunglasses and repeatedly walk into the walls whilst pretending to not hear the other passenger’s direction.
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “that’s mine!”
19. Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi Greg. How’s your day been?”
20. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, “You’re one of THEM!” and back away slowly.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

PAUL! DMITRI! How come we weren't contacted?

Intelligent women enjoy sex more than 'bimbos', research finds
Women with brains have more fun in bed than the average bimbo, new research suggests.

Once again, the Telewag - but this is research worth getting paid for, surely?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Talking of naked women..

Three nuns were painting the inside of a church on a VERY hot day and decided to divest themselves of their far-too-hot-to-paint-in habits and paint as God delivered them to this planet. Suddenly, there's a knock on the door. One of the naked nuns says, "Who is it?". A voice from the other side of the door says, "Blind man." So, the nun opens the door and in comes the man, looks around and says, "Mmmmmm. Nice boobs.......now, where do you want me to leave these blinds?"

Monday, May 11, 2009

Don't you HATE when this happens?

Laugh for the Day



You are on a crowded bus when you suddenly realize you need to fart.

The music is really loud, so you time your releases with the beat. You
let
go about 5 strong and loud ones back to back.

After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your
stop.

As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and
that's when you remember:


you've been listening to your iPod!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

This England..........

While on the subject of women…...

This young lady, who if I recall rightly had an Italian mother, was by far the sexiest woman at PRS in 1959. She moved with the kind of feline grace that one normally associates with a cat-walk queen and her…………………. (apologies if this one has been posted before)

The un-blurred version.

This is one is far clearer. The previously published photo was I’m afraid due to severe hand-shake. Although this time around, I suspect discussion may centre on the car in the background. The photo was taken on main-site near the large bunker that lay to the rear of the main entrance. (Oh and I nearly forgot! That’s my scarf and I never got it back!).

Saturday, May 09, 2009

I suspected...

...it was merely a matter of waiting around...


...until one showed up!...and then another!...

...yep!...wool washing night usually brings 'em out in droves!...

Friday, May 08, 2009

Cockney Rhyming Slang

Unfortunately the embedding has been disabled by request - but do try

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ak5vYS0tvg

for the wonderful Stephen Fry on QI explaining some of the terms

A Collingwood Girl bagging munros



Scotland at its best, this photographwas taken in the middle of April. I will post more as I get them as the views are just amazing.
Frances (Collingwood 65-67) loves climbing and so far has bagged 117 + munros, there are 284 I think. I expect those with the knowledge could fill in with information about munros and the difference between a munro and a corbet.
The next trip she is doing is in September and involves the inaccessible one featured on Countryfile recently, you take the ferry across to an island etc etc. they (Frances and Kevin) will also be doing more abseiling down and scrambling up sheer cliffs - all very scarey stuff, believe me I have seen the recent video, pick axes and crampons were used in the snow along with roping up; you will have gathered by now that Frances has all the adventurous genes although so saying my other sister Binny used to do free fall parachuting....picking flowers is as dangerous as I get :)

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Of pirates and parrots

With all the chat about Helga and Long John Silver, a patch and a parrot, two things came to mind:

1) Had I been a pirate with a parrot permanently affixed to me shoulder, I'd have had a gert big streak of parrot poop down me back!

2) An old salt with a wooden leg, a hook and an eye-patch returned from his voyages and went into his local hostelry. The landlord recognised him and, after pulling him a pewter of ale, asked how he'd come by the wooden leg.
"Twas when oi fell awerboard" Replied the sailor, "Shark took it!"
"Gad!" Said the landlord, "Did the shark get yer 'and, too?"
"No" the sailor answered, "Oi lorst that in a sword foight - single blow and there it war, gone!"
"Oim almost afeart to arsk about the patch." The landlord said.
"Ar" mused the sailro, "That 'appened early one mornin'. Oi war up in deck an' eard a seagull mewing. Looked up an' the thing poopen in moi oi!"
"Had no oidea seagull poop could bloind a man." Said the landlord.
"Twas not the poop" The sailor said, "Twas me first day wi' the 'ook"

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

DUH!

A man takes his sick dog to the vet. The vet lifts the dog onto
the the operating table, looks down and says "Say ahhhhhhhhhhh!"
The man looks at the vet and says "That's stupid! The dog can't speak".
The vet says to the man "I was talking to YOU. The dog's dead!!!

An elevating story

A hillbilly family left their shack in the Blue Ridge mountains and headed into the big city. They'd never been to a shopping mall before. As they entered, they were mesmerised by the colours, the lights and the sheer size of the place. Wondering about with their jaws at floor level, the dad and young son approached an elevator. As they watched in amazement, the doors opened, a little, wrinkled, gray haired lady in a wheel chair entered it and the doors closed behind her. They watched the lights flashing on and off as the elevator rose, stopped and then returned to their floor. There, the doors opened and out stepped a stunning, twenty something year old blonde.

After a moment, the dad turned to his young son and said, "Boy......go git yer moma!"

Journey of 3000 miles starts with !...


Hi Gang - Just cast off on my way to Cardiff. Cutting it a bit fine. If I don't make it on time say hello to all I may know....

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Everything's fine........really!

I see from an item in the Telywag today that "Alan Johnson backs Gordon Brown as leader".

well, everything MUST be alright then?..............HANG ON A MO!.........Isn't he the Health Secretary that Richard Branson pops off at quite frequently?

Flying Pigs

It was said "Pigs will Fly when there is a Black President."
Wham -Obama - and the swines flu!!

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Peter Sarstedt - Where do you go to (my lovely) 1969 TOTP

Just as I remembered it!

85 last week - but who is she?



This young lady was mentioned in a hit record in 1969 - and has just celebrated her 85th birthday

Friday, May 01, 2009

The man


Fifteen years today since the tragic death of Ayrton Senna.