Friday, January 30, 2009

From the briar patch!

A husband and wife were shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks
up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. "What do you think you're
doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans," he replied.
"Put them back, we can't afford them," demands the wife, and so they carry
on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream
and puts it in their basket. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replied the
wife. Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and its half the
price."

On the PA system: "Cleanup needed on aisle 25, we have a husband down."

Died this day in 1982

The most-recorded Blues artist ever

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Hot Aussies

Babs,/Terry,
The media report here in the old world tells of the 3 figure temperatures in your neck of the world.

For me envious of the sun sea and sand.But as for the regulo rating Hundred Plus not for me.

Babs,Old world 'Ampshire is ok today approx 8 - 10 degress.
.
Will the sun tan spots last till CARDIFF?
Reminder -- Alas still have "Reynard's" creating death and destruction
Take care and sample the cold four X Amber Liquid
Cheers

Some sound advice

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.

Some doctor on television this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.

So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and so, before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha rmarinder of botl of Prozic and Valum pscriptins, the res of the Chesescke and a box a mungles.

Yu haf no idr how fkin gud I fel.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Countryside matters

Is it unsporting to shoot when you are this close?

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Frae a Haggis taeMy Maker

Bit of troubkle with the submittal part lost on another post -excuse.
For a variation to the Traditional Address on Rabbie Burns Night.

Frae a Haggis tae my maker !

Tis me agin,Late as Usual
Wi Twa or Three lines for your perusal,
To praise the skill o'the man Macsween
And the finest Haggis thats ever been.
We'll hae a Haf.or five or six,
Tae honour the man who perfected this mix
Wi' undoubted skill and dedication
Helped satisfy our Hungry Nation.
His pies,sausages an cuts 'O meat
His famous Haggis will ne'r be beat
in short the best you've ever seen
An should be"By appointment to the Queen"
Two years sin' about the month o' May
Alas,ma maker passed away
He'll be remebered this time each year
Amongst all butchers he had no peer
Now yon PRS ites, an idea to be read aloud
Of which i'm sure,Rabbie would be so proud
Enjoy the result of this last remark
"Help yon self tae ha "Highland Park"
SLAINJE !

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Smart remarks recalled

As a change from Politics football and weather.May I try some remarks recalled from the past.
When travelling on BA The cabin attendant asked "Would you like Dinner sir"?
What are my choices Iasked
Yes or No she replied !!
_______

At the Departure desk KLM Lady -Schiphol- The guy in front of me was asked for his ticket so she could check him in.
As he stepped forward he opened his raincoat and apparently flashed her.
The desk clerk never faltered but politely said "Sir, I asked for your ticket not your STUB!!
----------------

Police man stopped my pal for speeding. As the officer put his head in the window"Well sir I have been waiting all day for you"
My pal the driver replied"Sorry Officer but I got hear as quick as I could"
I thought oh no now well be here all day.
The PC hit his head on the window stepping back called his partner over he was still laughing as he told his partner the situation .They smiled and said off you go but don't use that line next time!!
--------

At a local low bridge a lorry driver had got stuck. The traffic was backed up for miles. Eventually the Police arrived.
To the driver he said" Ah got stuck eh?
Lorry driver said" No actually I was delivering this bridge but have run out of petrol"

----------

Obamamania

Obamania has taken hold! It is now impossible to turn on the TV or radio without endless runs and re-runs of yesterday,s events, comment and postulation from a press which seems to have taken the inauguration speech as already enacted fact and endless 'expert' opinions from people whose expertise is normally in a very narrow range.

As I said yesterday, the press has set the man up. He's really going to have to over achieve just to make book - otherwise the very same press will pillory him!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Confusing.com

Talking of beer, Carol


I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this .............
'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

Communication?

Mornin' all!

Well, on Saturday last, Continental Airlines surpassed itself! Jen, daughter Kate and grandee Penelope were flying back from UK to Norfolk, Virginia. Heathrow to Newark in New Jersey and then Newark to Norfolk. They were scheduled to arrive at 14.23 local time here in Norfolk. Shortly after noon, the telephone rang. "Hello", Says I. "This in Continental Airlines", Says a recording, "With a message for..........Jennifer Lintott.........because your flight was delayed leaving .........London, England.........you may not be able to make your connection at.........Liberty Airport, Newark........."

By then, I was laughing uncontrollably! WHAT POSSIBLE USE COULD THAT BE TO JENNY? She was in a 'plane, half way across the bloody Atlantic! Which bright spark assumed she was incapable of working that out for herself? Or, is this just another example of what masquerades as 'service' these days?

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Think yourself lucky to be a man (if you are one of course!)


With the reunion rapidly approaching - thought this diagram quite apt to show how lucky you men are preparing for such an event - this is just for one night out - so how can we cope with long weekend?

Friday, January 16, 2009

A man of our times


Patrick McGoohan, the Emmy-winning actor who created and starred in the cult classic television show "The Prisoner," has died. He was 80.McGoohan died Tuesday in Los Angeles after a short illness, his son-in-law, film producer Cleve Landsberg, said.McGoohan won two Emmys for his work on the Peter Falk detective drama "Columbo," and more recently appeared as King Edward Longshanks in the 1995 Mel Gibson film "Braveheart."But he was most famous as the character known only as Number Six in "The Prisoner," a sci-fi tinged 1960s British series in which a former spy is held captive in a small enclave known only as the Village, where a mysterious authority named Number One constantly prevents his escape.McGoohan came up with the concept and wrote and directed several episodes of the show, which has kept a devoted following in the United States and Europe for four decades.

HOMEWARD BOUND


Hiya bloggers - Just one more customer to see
and then I'm on my way home

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Brave little fellas...




These apples are still hanging on for dear life on our neighbours tree. Today its minus 18 celcius, windchill of minus 35 celcius. Wonderfully bright late afternoon, blue sky, sunshine still but going into another bitterly cold night. Ah well, we do live in Canada after all!


And the alternative was......?

I think I've said before that one of the fundamental failings of the US electoral system is that if two complete assholes are running for a plotical office - no matter what office it is - one of them WILL be elected. My political stance is certainly right of centre. Nonetheless, with that in mind, I quote this and ask, "So, the alternative was...........?"


The Daily Mail (UK) wrote this editorial about Obama on 1/6/2009. (confirmation, Google "London Daily Mail Obama's Victory")



Obama's Victory--A British view



A victory for the hysterical Oprah Winfrey, the mad racist preacher Jeremiah Wright, the US mainstream media who abandoned any sense of objectivity long ago, Europeans who despise America largely because they depend on her, comics who claim to be dangerous and fearless but would not dare attack genuinely powerful special interest groups. A victory for Obama-worshippers everywhere. A victory for the cult of the cult. A man who has done little with his life but has written about his achievements as if he had found the cure for cancer in between winning a marathon and building a nuclear reactor with his teeth. Victory for style over substance, hyperbole over history, rabble-raising over reality.

A victory for Hollywood , the most dysfunctional community in the world. Victory for Streisand, Spielberg, Soros, Moore, and Sarandon. Victory for those who prefer welfare to will and interference to independence. For those who settle for group think and herd mentality rather than those who fight for individual initiative and the right to be out of step with meager political fashion/

Victory for a man who is no friend of freedom.



He and his people have already stated that media has to be controlled so as to be balanced, without realizing the extraordinary irony within that statement. Like most liberal zealots, the Obama worshippers constantly speak of Fox and Limbaugh, when the vast bulk of television stations and newspapers are drastically liberal and anti-conservative. Senior Democrat Chuck Schumer said that just as pornography should be censored, so should talk radio. In other words, one of the few free and open means of popular expression may well be cornered and beaten by bullies who even in triumph cannot tolerate any criticism and opposition.



A victory for those who believe the state is better qualified to raise children than the family, for those who prefer teachers' unions to teaching and for those who are naively convinced that if the West is sufficiently weak towards its enemies, war and terror will dissolve as quickly as the tears on the face of a leftist celebrity. A victory for social democracy even after most of Europe has come to the painful conclusion that social democracy leads to mediocrity, failure, unemployment, inflation, higher taxes and economic stagnation. A victory for intrusive lawyers, banal sentimentalists, social extremists and urban snobs.



Congratulations America !

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Just by chance..........

After my comment in the previous posting I came across this in today's Telewag. Really, WHO THE HELL CARES? Surely this is a matter of personal preference and entirely subjective! It's absolute rubbish!

Follow the link.


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/4230941/French-university-to-study-whether-gentleman-really-do-prefer-blondes.html

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

To slur or not to slur

I have the feeling that Gordon Brown has a few really unacceptable issues to address before he begins slagging off Harry for using the term Paki!

Flowers

After confirmation by Anonymous that you poor pc owners didn't have access to these files I thought I'd share the flowers content with you.

A question however for you flower experts - do these flowers have the same meaning in the UK, OZ etc...?

# Flower : Meaning
# @(#)flowers 8.1 (Berkeley) 6/8/93
#
# Upside down reverses the meaning.
African violet:Such worth is rare.
Apple blossom:Preference.
Bachelor's button:Celibacy.
Bay leaf:I change but in death.
Camelia:Reflected loveliness.
Chrysanthemum, other color:Slighted love.
Chrysanthemum, red:I love.
Chrysanthemum, white:Truth.
Clover:Be mine.
Crocus:Abuse not.
Daffodil:Innocence.
Forget-me-not:True love.
Fuchsia:Fast.
Gardenia:Secret, untold love.
Honeysuckle:Bonds of love.
Ivy:Friendship, fidelity, marriage.
Jasmine:Amiability, transports of joy, sensuality.
Leaves (dead):Melancholy.
Lilac:Youthful innocence.
Lilly of the valley:Return of happiness.
Lilly:Purity, sweetness.
Magnolia:Dignity, perseverance.
Marigold:Jealousy.
Mint:Virtue.
Orange blossom:Your purity equals your loveliness.
Orchid:Beauty, magnificence.
Pansy:Thoughts.
Peach blossom:I am your captive.
Petunia:Your presence soothes me.
Poppy:Sleep.
Rose, any color:Love.
Rose, deep red:Bashful shame.
Rose, single, pink:Simplicity.
Rose, thornless, any color:Early attachment.
Rose, white:I am worthy of you.
Rose, yellow:Decrease of love, rise of jealousy.
Rosebud, white:Girlhood, and a heart ignorant of love.
Rosemary:Remembrance.
Sunflower:Haughtiness.
Tulip, red:Declaration of love.
Tulip, yellow:Hopeless love.
Violet, blue:Faithfulness.
Violet, white:Modesty.
Zinnia:Thoughts of absent friends.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Birthday boy



As we are talking of birthdays, I cannot let the King's go by without a mention (as it appears to have done on the blog) January 8th.

Friday, January 09, 2009

New Years Day blast

Looking from the house to the end of our drive, the snow plough really piled it up. We didnt get the laneway cleared until the Saturday noon.
Howard had bravely cleared a path to the car, but that was it.

As you can see!! I know, boring old weather again. But so different from Sues pics.


Beautiful Dorset


I am being encouraged to show off my part of the world.... aren't I the lucky one!! This is Worbarrow Bay taken from the top of a very steep hill, it seemed like Everest whilst I was climbing it. It was taken from my mobile so the quality is not all it should be, next one will be with the camera.
This was taken a few weeks ago on a bitterly cold day in December, I will try and be more up to date and capture some of the very pretty frosty landscape which is currently surrounding us - minus 4 in West Sussex this morning whilst doing the school run, back in Dorset now and it is probably only minus 1 - still cold for us southern softies!

Some notable quotes.......

According to the Tellywag, from GWB.........



"And so, in my State of the --- my State of the Union --- or state -- my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation -- I asked Americans to give 4,000 years -- 4,000 hours over the next–the rest of your life --of service to America. That's what I asked -- 4,000 hours." –April 9, 2002

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." – September 2000, explaining his energy policies at an event in Michigan.

"Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?" – January 2000, during a campaign event in South Carolina.

"They misunderestimated the compassion of our country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the commander in chief, too." – September 26, 2001, referring to the terrorists who carried out the 9/11 attacks.

"There's no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail." – October 4, 2001, on a back-to-work plan after the terrorist attacks.

"It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber." – April 10, 2002, as he urged Senate passage of a broad ban on cloning.

"I want to thank the dozens of welfare-to-work stories, the actual examples of people who made the firm and solemn commitment to work hard to embetter themselves." – April 18, 2002

"There's an old saying in Tennessee – I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee – that says, fool me once, shame on – shame on you. Fool me – you can't get fooled again." – September 17, 2002

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." – August 5, 2004

"Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB/GYNs [gynaecologists] aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." – September 6, 2004

"Our most abundant energy source is coal. We have enough coal to last for 250 years, yet coal also prevents an environmental challenge." – April 20, 2005

"We look forward to hearing your vision, so we can more better do our job." – September 20, 2005

"I can't wait to join you in the joy of welcoming neighbours back into neighbourhoods, and small businesses up and running, and cutting those ribbons that somebody is creating new jobs." – September 5, 2005

"It was not always a given that the United States and America would have a close relationship. After all, 60 years we were at war 60 years ago we were at war." – June 29, 2006, to Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi.

"Make no mistake about it, I understand how tough it is, sir. I talk to families who die." – December 7, 2006, in a joint appearance with Prime Minister Tony Blair.

"These are big achievements for this country, and the people of Bulgaria ought to be proud of the achievements that they have achieved." – June 11, 2007

"Mr Prime Minister, thank you for your introduction. Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit." – September 2007, at an APEC summit.

"Thank you, Your Holiness. Awesome speech." April 16, 2008 to Pope Benedict XVI.

"The fact that they purchased the machine meant somebody had to make the machine. And when somebody makes a machine, it means there's jobs at the machine-making place." – May 27, 2008

"And they have no disregard for human life." – July 15, 2008, referring to enemy fighters in Afghanistan.

"I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office." – June 26, 2008

"Throughout our history, the words of the Declaration have inspired immigrants from around the world to set sail to our shores. These immigrants have helped transform 13 small colonies into a great and growing nation of more than 300 people." – July 4, 2008

"The people in Louisiana must know that all across our country there's a lot of prayer – prayer for those whose lives have been turned upside down. And I'm one of them. It's good to come down here." – Sept. 3, 2008 after Hurricane Gustav hit the Gulf Coast.

"This thaw – took a while to thaw, it's going to take a while to unthaw." Oct. 20, 2008, as he discussed the economy and frozen credit markets.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Have I got this right?

I heard somebody here in USA say, ‘the trouble with our economy is that there are not enough mechanical, electrical and structural engineers and far too many financial engineers’.

With that in mind, have I got this right?

If you buy a commodity (and, by commodity, I mean physical asset or marketable manufactured goods) for $X and sell it for $Y, the available gross profit is $Y minus $X - THAT’S IT! THERE IS NO MORE! All the rest is financial engineering, smoke and mirrors. Out of that profit, EVERYBODY involved in between the purchase and the sale has to be compensated. The more people there are, the thinner the pickings. Extreme rewards come at the expense of others’ income or, more worryingly, out of financially engineered ‘profits’ which don’t actually exist.

In all this, nobody in the media seems to have given credence to is Newton’s Third Law of Motion – which could also be called Newton’s Reality Law – ‘To every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction’. Basically, this means that every hedge which comes out ahead creates a compensating failed hedge somewhere. The more extreme somebody’s ‘paper win’, the more extreme somebody else’s loss. No matter how far outside the original $Y minus $X box the hedging falls, everything eventually must net back to that equation. It’s really nothing more than Las Vegas without the glitz and shows. Gambling!

Originally designed to minimize exposure on a physical position in a fluctuating market, hedging morphed into a means for people with NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO with industry to wager money on these hedges – in New York (Wall Street) among other places – WHERE GAMBLING IS ILLEGAL!

The driving force was greed. Nothing more. It induced people to make bigger and bigger wagers and take more and more extreme positions. It induced the hedge managers to encourage this risk taking. They, after all, can work both ends of the deal and be covered no matter which way it goes. So, the more trades they did, the more money they were paid. And, they were applauded and encouraged by the institutions that employed them because all this ‘pretend’ money added to the percieved ‘worth’ of those institutions and, let us not forget, played a significant factor in lining the pockets of both corporate executives and shareholders.

And then…..someone tried to cash out with a physical stock position. There was not sufficient physical stock to allow this to happen and the house of cards began to collapse………. somewhat analogous of a casino being unable to convert a gambler’s winning chips into cash!

In comes the cavalry – in the shape of the US Treasury and the Federal Reserve Bank – and presents a government in panic with a simple solution – pay $700 BILLION to the banks and the insurance companies who created this house of cards and save them! With hardly a backward glance, it was done!

Now, we have financial institutions - who created the vehicle and promulgated the practice and would otherwise have failed – which have been bailed out by private and corporate taxpayers through the aegis of Government. These institutions are now unwilling to lend money TO THE VERY PEOPLE WHO BAILED THEM OUT, preferring instead to hoard it, ride out the recession/depression/collapse and build assets.

If it is right, THIS, MY FRIENDS, IS BULLS#@T!

The WBG mystery



This one?

Wilhelmshaven right now...part deux!...


Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Barney@ first Christmas

Here you are Diane. He is a year old in 4 weeks, where does the time go?

No soundtrack, but....

This is Charlie, aged 3 months, Howards granddaughter who was home from France with her parents for Christmas. This was a silent laugh as she wasnt making the sound yet. But dont you want to smile right along with her? Next time we see her she will be a year old.

Wot recession?

Those living abroad may have heard that Britain is gripped by recession. This simply isn’t true……….. or on the other hand has it something to do with the parlous state of English these days?

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

I had a flappy strap on one of my Crocs and when I paused to place an item I was carrying on a shelf, I inadvertently stood on it. This effectively anchored my other foot (the next logical mover in my perambulation) firmly to the floor where, in spite of my intended forward mobility, it remained, inert, useless and immobile. The rest of me, however, was anything but stationary. My head, the part most distant from my trapped foot, was launched as if by catapult and described an accelerating arc....until, that is, it was abruptly arrested by the pantry door. The muscles in my left leg had meantime contracted and my left knee thus became my principal landing gear. My arms extended and began flapping uselessly. I caught my left hand index finger on something as I descended, dislocating the top joint and ripping the inside flesh around that knuckle, where some rather neat embroidery was subsequently applied by a charming young lady at the Emergency Room. The following (Sunday) morning, I looked like a bloody raccoon in drag! My eyes had vivid purple circles around them. My knee, meanwhile, had adopted the proportions of a medicine ball. My now erect index finger (it's splinted) gives rise to some interesting phenomena when driving - indicators, windscreen wipers, lights and so on seem to activate at random.

There are three lessons to be learned here:

1) If you have Crocs with flappy straps THROW THE BLOODY THINGS OUT or get a supply of the little plastic buttons that secure them.

2) Global warming has done nothing to improve my chances of defying gravity!

3) DON'T, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, GIVE UP BOOZE FOR A NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!

Sad News..


Hello, everyone - I have just received some very sad news. For any of you who were are PRS the same time as me, and whether you knew him or not, I have just had an email telling me of the sudden death of Patrick Aldridge - Howe. He died on 1st December of a heart attack, he was taking no medicine and there was no warning. The email came from his wife Jo, whom I met at Stoke - she was there with Patrick and his sister Kathleen, also Howe. The picture above shows from left, Jo, Patrick, Kathleen and for some reason I have a blank on the lady on the right and I should know her name, cant read her name tag either.

Sunday, January 04, 2009

BUTTONS

Perhaps it's just a foible common to me alone but, growing up, buttons were my friend, never really thought of them really! Undid and did up my fly without even thinking what I was doing. Shirt buttons, never a problem, buttons of all sizes and types slotted and jumped into place without any impact or pause in the scheme of things. Now on the infrequent occasion when I must wear a dress shirt, those silly little buttons half way between the cuff and elbow with the undersized holes, seem to dodge and dart all over the place as I screw my neck around attempting to pass one part through the other. I think they have somehow reversed the polarity on them and now they reject each other! The same thing with the button down collars. I look at my hands and fingers and, apart from the translucent skin and the ability to now see my bone structure, they seem capable to still manipulate the opposing thumb maneuver... My first car radio had a knob on the left which turned it on and increased the volume and the RH side would select a station. My present vehicle has a dash which lights up like a night-time view while landing at a major airport. There are more buttons than I can count on all digits. If I could see them I may be better able to determine their function. As to todays digital camera there are 6 buttons alone on which used to be the film advance knob!.. Time for me to button up...