Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Come on you Spurs


I have tickets for this match Paul and am at the Tiger's end. The Spurs seats were sold out three week's ago. I will probably be wearing both shirts with the Spurs one underneath. I really wany to see them take their first win of the season even at the expense of City.

In my next life...........

I have always maintained that given another life, I shall become a meteorologist and report the weather on television. My rationale is simple: here's a job in which you can f**k up on a daily basis, remain employed and still get paid.

I've changed my opinion! I'm now determined to be reborn as a major financial institution C.E.O.! Apparently, these guys have bullet proof contracts and can ROYALLY f**k up, be required to vacate their positions......and then get......wait for it.......a Golden Umbrella! This device opens up (ha ha!) an entire cornucopia of new opportunity - instant retirement, a considerable source of continued income and a standard of living WAY beyond the ideals of all but 1% of the World's population! They don't even have to appear on TV and make a pretense at ANYTHING!

Thought for the day

So, I understand that doggy do hither and yon is unsightly, unpleasant and socially unacceptable and that little plastic poo bags are available in rolls with handy, pocket sized dispensers but, surely to God, someone has developed some means of (a) retrieving and (b) disposing of these little parcels........I mean, really, what IS some future archaeologist going to think when he opens up a land fill and finds dozens of little plastic bags full of assorted doggy do?

I recall there was a device called a 'pooper scooper'. This is fine for dealing with walnut whips in the back yard. However, on a long walk it would be both cumbersome and a potential hazard if your best friend was tethered to you and suddenly launched at a passing squirrel.

GOOD NEWS11111

This is Howards first grandchild, a girl Charlie Amina Kerwin born at approx 6am our time, but in France, so you can work it out. We were so excited that we didnt even ask her weight. Great to have some really, really good news to post!! Yippee!

Monday, September 29, 2008

Thoughts for the day

1) I noticed outside today, a single strand of spider's web, a good seven feet long and stretched between a point above my head on my right and at a 45 degree angle, to a point somewhere around knee height on my left. HOW DO THEY DO THAT? Do they have 'web launchers' and fire a loose end towards a distant point? Do they start at point A and pay out line as they climb down, across and up to point B? Do they cast caution to the wind and just leap from one point to another? Are they picked up by as yet unknown species of nocturnal, flying arachnids and carried between the two points? Have they fooled generations of arachnologists by secreting their detachable wings underneath mushrooms until they are ready to begin a new web?

2) Does screwing one eye tight shut, hunching one or, in some cases, both shoulders, leaning one's head slightly to one side and moving with short, sharp exaggerated steps actually make one less wet when walking in the rain?

The Presidential election .....at least this makes sense!

http://www.peteyandpetunia.com/VoteHere/VoteHere.htm



I think I may have mentioned this place before but, last weekend we had a house guest and went to Jamestown, the site of the first successful British settlement in America. It's about 50 miles from here and on the shore of the Elisabeth (the First) river. 107 men and boys (no women!) made their way here in three ships, the Susan Constant, the Godspeed and the Discovery. Susan Constant was the biggest and had 53 passangers, 17 crew and everything they might need to start a colony including livestock in the hold. It took them five months to get here. Imagine how pleasant that little lot smelt after five months at sea! The smallest ship, Discovery, was 21 souls, 17 of whom were passengers and the bloody things only marginally larger than a domestic bath tub! These pics are of the Susan Constant and the Discovery. Godspeed was off doing something somewhere else and the third ship here was just filling in. These are working, full sized replicas of the originals.

Jen's maiden name is Brewster and, oddly, there was a Brewster in this contingent and there were Brewsters on the Mayflower which came over later.

Meet Izzy!




Izzy has been with us almost two weeks now and so far seems quite pleased with her humans!

The Goon Show - What Time Is It Eccles?

Having nothing better to do (!) I found this classic on you know what. Does anyone else remember the Goon Show like I do, or am I the odd one out? Bluebottle, my favourite. Please indulge me in this:)

So any ideas?
This flower was also lurking amongst the debris on the beach near Kardamena, looks a bit like a poppy!

More Flowers

¬Not sure what the shrub to the left is called, the colour was just spectacular.

The white flower was growing on a dry stony beach surrounded by rubbish....

Please, to all those botanists reading, if you know tell me....







All these flowers were found on the wonderful Greek island of Kos near the town/village of Kardamena

Flowers in Kos


Bunga Raya is the name of Malaysia's national flower, also known as the hibiscus, one of the gorgeous flowers Carol and I saw on the seemingly barren landscape of Kos..

Sunday, September 28, 2008

This bad boy...

This is Kyle, as we speak! As we are at the eastern end of PEI it might just miss us. Although it is getting very dull and a bit windy right now. I think Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and the western end of this Island will get the most. We are supposed to get heavy rain right through until tomorrow night. We really dont need any rain, the fields are still soaked from the last lot and the potato yield has really been affected for a lot of the farmers here.
Tomorrow is the 5th anniversary of Hurricane Juan that came ashore in Nova Scotia and proceeded on to PEI. Coincidence?

Clever Sods

No pulling the wool over your eyes, Bob.

BEN E KING

It's this guys birthday today - He be 70 dontchano.

So, and as it's Sunday, (and on the radio be 'Steve Wright's Sunday Love Songs'), I thought that perhaps I should put this song forward as the best one that we all know him for.

PS: Did ya all know that this guy, (being lead singer for, 'The Drifters'), left the band because when asking for a pay rise, he was refused!! (The rest as they say, is history.

Enjoy, and have a great Sunday.

PS: The Desert Dweller, (With 'The Lovely Lady Lynn' in tow), flys out tomorrow to a some what different clime to what he is used to as he heads to the US and the start of 'The Great New England States Road Trip'.

Will try to pop in when I can, but if not, you can be guaranteed some great pics on my return.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

This Week's quiz

What is it?

The Tiger Roar

Need I say more, Arsenal 1 Hull City 2

To God from dog:

Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever,
smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it
still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar,
the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE
named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do
love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle'
the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human
hears him, is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand
signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do
humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have
to apologize?

Friday, September 26, 2008

Canine cavorts

We recently acquired a dog (or did she acquire us?). Our last dog was called Ralph - because it was the only name he could pronounce. He was a spanador (or labriel) - and was something of a mess. Poor thing had distemper as a pup and spent the rest of his (fairly long) life walking around in circles. He and Jen were joined at the hip and she was desolate when Ralph became riddled with arthritis and in almost constant pain. Ralph left us for the big kennel in the sky about when we moved from New Orleans to Norfolk. Anyway, the new addition is, apparently, Isobel (or Izzy......or BLOODY DOG!) and is a lallie (or colador) as far as we can tell. This-morning, she and I came in from her preliminary ablutional perambulation and, as I removed her leash, she took off in the general direction of the bedroom. I rounded the corner to find her airborne and in the ascent. Her destination? Our bed! "DOWN!" Said I - with just a twinge of alpha male authority. Like an aircraft retracting its undercarriage, her legs withdrew. Now streamlined, she cleared the bed and landed on the floor on the opposite side. The expression on her face read, "What? SURELY you don't think I was going to lie on your bed, do you?"
40 Gypsies arrive at the Pearly Gates in their Transit vans and caravans.St Peter goes into the gatehouse and phones up God, saying. 'I've got 40travellers here. Can I let them in?'God says 'We are over quota on Pikeys. Go out and tell them to choosebetween them which are the 12 most worthy, and I will let just the dozenin.'Less than a minute later St Peter is on the phone to God again. 'They'vegone', he tells God.'What?' says God, 'All 40 of them?''No, the f***ing gates'.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Where's the Blog

Todays Birthdays and nowt else.... where are you? Is the end of the world nigh??

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Picture?..........What picture?

So here we are with Dubya about to launch $70 billion of tax-payers' money at Wall Street institutions. Now, I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer but........didn't Wall Street create the problem? Here we are with a bunch of financial institutions, insurance companies and the like, all of which have built huge wealth upon packs of cards - and, inevitably, they have become top heavy. They didn't regulate themselves and the systems which were introduced by government to regulate them after the Depression and after the Savings and Loan debacle of the 1980s have been allowed to erode or been ignored.

So, effectively, by not enforcing its regulatory measures, the Government is complicit in the current massive - and let's not mince words here - melt-down. In other words, the monkeys are now seeking to buy and run the zoo - WITH MY MONEY!

This does nothing for the poor sod (and you can say 'caveat emptor' as much as you like) who was sold a mortgage and a ration of bullshit about how most people only own a house for 5 years before TRADING UP and the interest only mortgage with a two and a half percent interest rate on a principal five times his income was a REAL DEAL - until gasoline prices tripled and he couldn't afford the payments any more!

Basically, not only did Wall Street bog up big time in a free market economy, they're now about to be bailed out by a complicit government - effectively making these institutions State owned (now, where exactly does that fit in a free market?), but THEY'RE OFF THE HOOK! And, you can bet, the buggers in charge will be paid MASSIVE 'golden parachutes' when they 'resign'.

I'm sorry, but didn't we go through something similar with Enron? Weren't those executives imprisoned for hoodwinking their shareholders and buying favours?

What is it about this picture that I don't get?

Monday, September 22, 2008

THE NEXT ROAD TRIP


Last summer, 'Triple L' and
myself booked flights and all
the hotels for the above road trip.
With the problems with mum, we
thought we would have to cancel
and try to get our money back.
However, bruv 1, bruv 2 and wife have
agreed to come down to look after mum
whilst we take off for this 'Fall - New
England Road Trip'.
So, come the 1st of October we are off!!
The route in red is the, well, route we intend
to take. Starting from Boston and heading
South East to Nantucket Island, we will be
moving on to Martha's Vineyard then back to
the mainland heading North West to Vermont,
and then North East to Mount Washington,
Bangor in Maine and Bar Harbor before we go
south again to Salem and then back to Boston
to fly home.
I shall, of course, bring you the best of pics as
we chase the colour change in the trees and eat
the best of sea food that Nantucket, Martha's
Vineyard and Bar Harbor can offer. As well
as great pics of Mount washington and all in
between.
'The Lovely Lady Lynn' and myself are looking
forward to this one!!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Friday, September 19, 2008

Black hurricanes....

Saw this today:

Well, it appears our African-American friends have found yet something else to be pissed about. A black congresswoman (this would be Sheila Jackson Lee, of Houston), reportedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding names.

She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture such as Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal. I am NOT making this up!

She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in 'language' that street people can understand because one of the problems that happened in New Orleans was, that black people couldn't understand the seriousness of the situation, due to the racially biased language of the weather report.

I guess if the weather person says that the winds are going to blow at 140+ MPH, that's too hard to understand

I can hear it now: A weatherman in New Orleans says...

Wazzup, mutha-f***as! Hehr-i-cane Chamiqua be headin' fo' yo ass like Leroy on a crotch rocket!
Bitch be a category fo'! So, turn off dem chitlins, grab yo' chirren, leave yo crib, and head fo' de nearest FEMA office fo yo FREE shit!


FYI: FEMA is the Federal Emergency (Mis)Management Agency)

There's hope for us yet!

An old man goes into a drug store to buy some Viagra.

'Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?'

'I can cut them for you' said the pharmacist but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection '

'I am 96,' said the old man. 'I don't want an erection. I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piddle on my slippers

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Neil Diamond - Shilo, just for Alex

Hope this takes the sting out of your latest speed episode, Alex. Also hope this doesnt post twice as I tried it but hit the wrong button to post, so I am keeping my fingers crossed as Paul knows I do get carried away posting videos sometimes - eh, Paul:)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Sweet Dreams Baby -- Roy Orbison

This is from the show I mentioned. Includes Springsteen, Costello, Jackson Brown,kd Lang, Bonnie Raitt, Jennifer Warnes, Tbone Burnett, etc. There are lots of numbers from the show on YouTube. Enjoy

A COUPLE OF WYNGES!

OK. So tonight, on BBC America (which I daily thank God for because American news is so parochial) there was an item about the rejuvenation of the Cerne Giant. All power to the rejuvenators, I say! Why, I wonder, did the Beeb find it necessaryto say, "Some might find this pornographic......"? Perhaps this is because of the American propensity for hiding broom handles! Ye Gods and little fishes! So sad! Maybe it's jealousy.....maybe an American never had a winkle that big!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Of little old ladies

We have a tenant in our house in New Orleans. To say the least, he is not easy! Anyway, I called the realtor who manages the house for us. She's a little old lady who would clearly rather be sipping tea with her knitting circle than working, but needs the money. Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. I've never heard her say anything even mildly controversial, leave alone coloured. Anyway, I prefaced our discussion today with, "I see our tenent's propensity for anal retention has broken entirely new ground today!" Without any hesitation, she shot back, "If by that you mean he's an asshole, I agree!" Could have knocked me over with a feather!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Internet destructions


Logging on is easy, just follow the instructions.............

Saturday, September 13, 2008

British Invasion II - America Strikes Back...

No pictures, but have to tell you that this show was brilliant. Remember last year we saw British Invasion, well this is the follow-up and had the American music/groups as well. Sort of a Battle of the music of 60s,70s,80s. The energy the young cast had throughout 180 minutes of singing and dancing, with only a 15 min break, was breathtaking. I was absolutely exhausted at the end of it!! Most of last years cast was back, with some new ones. The singer who emulated James Brown was totally believable, as were most of the others. Geoff you would have enjoyed it, the ones who portrayed the Stones were nothing short of fantastic, the music, the voices and the Jagger strut were all first class. It was well worth the $32.50 for a front row balcony seat.(approx 16 pounds). I now hope they will have a British Invasion III, and from the audience reaction I wasnt the only one.
We went for a meal first with our friends, and it was the start of a very good evening, - well, my friend Ariel and I killed a nice bottle of Reisling between us! but the food was great too. All in all a great time. Got the weekend off to a good start.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Hurricane Ike...

Get a load of this little baby! And we thought we were hard done by with all the rain from Hannah last weekend, washed out roads and flooding. Nothing to compare to what this will bring to people. Heaven help them.

How true!!

> > IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVICE FOR WOMEN.> Do you have feelings of inadequacy?> > Do you suffer from shyness?> > Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?> > If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your> doctor> or pharmacist about Chardonnay.> > Chardonnay is the safe, natural way to feel better and> more> confident about yourself and your actions. Chardonnay can> help ease you> out of your shyness and let you tell the world> that you're ready and willing to do just about> anything.> > You will notice the benefits of Chardonnay almost> immediately> and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any> obstacles that> prevent you from living the life you want to live.> > Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and> you will> discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding> and start> living, with Chardonnay.> > Chardonnay may not be right for everyone. Women who are> pregnant or nursin g should not use Chardonnay. However,> women who> wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are> encouraged to try it.> > Side effects may include diz ziness, nausea, vomiting,> incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control,> loss of> clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of> grandeur, table> dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to> sing Karaoke> and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare,> and Naked> Twister.> > WARNINGS: -> > * The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you> are> whispering when you are not.> * The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to tell> your> friends over and over again that you love them.> * The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to think> you can> sing.> * The consumption of Chardonnay may lead you to believe> that> ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them a t> four in the> morning.> * The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you> can> logically converse with members of the opposite sex without> spitting.> * The consumption of Chardonnay may create the illusion> that> you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than> most people.> > Now Just Imagine What You Could Achieve With a Good Dry> Red!!!> > > > >

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Why am I marrying her?

The doubt before the ceremony.

Time will tell........

A drunk was entertaining a couple friends. He was proudly showing them around his abode and there, in the bedroom, was a bloody great brass gong with a hammer.
"Why on earth do you have a bloody great gong in your bedroom?" Enquired one of the friends.
"Ash's nodda gong," Slurred the drunk, "Ash's a talkin' ashtral clock!"
"Talking astral clock? What ARE you talking about?" asked his pal.
"Lemme show you..." Said the drunk and picked up the hammer. He swung at the gong which emitted an deep, ear shattering BONGGGGGGG! The three stood looking at each-other as the reverberations died away, their eyes gradually coming back into focus.
From the other side of the wall they heard, "By the stars! It's half past two in the f**king morning!"

Mini reunion in Ontario

On 7th October there will be a reunion in Ontario, Violet Hill to be exact, of a few of us who live in Canada. Eileen (Bullen) Rose and myself (the two on the left in the photo) are going and there will be some there from the 47rs and up, that I have never met. The huge coincidence is that Violet Hill is only minutes from where I lived before I moved to the Island, and it will be interesting to find out if Jane Cooper who is hosting a lunch was living there back then. I am looking forward to it very much, it should be great.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Why I'm happy I don't own a shop

A duck walked into a shop and asked the shopkeeper, "Do you sell duck food?"
"No," Said the shopkeeper, "I do not".
"Thank you" Said the duck and left.
The next day, the duck went into the shop and asked the shopkeeper, "Do you sell duck food?"
The shopkeeper said, "NO! I DO NOT!"
"Thanks" Said the duck and left.
On the third day, the duck went into the store and asked, "Do you sell duck food?"
"Look," Said the shopkeeper, "I didn't sell it yesterday, I didn't sell it the day before and I don't sell it today and, if you come in tomorrow and ask again, I'll nail your feet to the floor!"
"Thank you" Said the duck - and left.
The next day, the duck came into the shop and asked, "Do you sell nails?"
"NO!" Shouted the shopkeeper.
"Good!" Said the duck, "Do you sell duck food?"

..tribute to those scientists

Does mention when worlds collide....


...when worlds collide...

...not yet..........!!!............

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Of desert Islands

A young couple were on holiday and about to enjoy a picnic lunch. The young man opened the picnic basket and asked, “Darling….would you like beer…or champagne?”
“Oh,” Came the reply, “Champagne…………….champagne makes me think of……of……..desert islands.…….with the hot, golden sun shining relentlessly down from an almost clear, bright blue sky……..of little wisps of cloud being caressed by a cooling breeze……..of sea gulls whirling in the sky, their distant mewing suspended in the air……….of the whispering palm fronds gently rustled by the wind………… of the tiny cotton-wool caps on the tops of the perfect little waves and the hissssssss, hissssssssss as they kiss the shoreline……of the blonde, bronzed, naked youth running towards me across the golden sand……running, running…..he reaches me……we embrace….we kiss….we fall to the ground in each-others grasp and make passionate love………..and anyway, beer makes me fart!

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

That time of year again...

Was this our parents back then?

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Italian Gift

Couple been married for awhile and having difficult times. So Wife says I am off to Italy for a break do you mind? Husband says no, go and enjoy your trip and if you can bring me back a lovely Italian lady I would be very happy. Wife took off not at all pleased with this farewell in the slightest.
Wife returns from Italy smiling relaxed happy.Husband says seems to me you had a good trip.Yes she replied the best.So where is my Italian Lady he asked with a smile. Oh yes wife replied, all sorted and Italian request is on its way. What he replied are you serious.
Oh yes wife replied promise you it will be here in nine months but it is pot luck if it is male or female !

Monday, September 01, 2008

The best Dear John Letter yet

A young girl on a year's training course in South Africa recently received a 'Dear John' letter from her boyfriend back home. It read as follows:



Dear Mary, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you. Love, John



Mary, with hurt feelings, asked her colleagues for any snapshots they could spare of their boyfriends, brothers, ex-boyfriends, uncles, cousins etc.
In addition to the picture of John, Mary included all the other pictures
of the pretty lads she had collected from her buddies.

There were 57 photos in that envelope along with this note:



Dear John,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the f**k you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care, Mary

I know it’s French…………



…..but can somebody explain this piece of sculpture found in a small, traditional, French village. The first photo shows the front of the sculpture, the second the obverse. I’m sure I must be drawing the wrong conclusions. The first reader with rational explanation will as usual win a signed photo of Dmitri.