Tuesday, September 30, 2008
I've changed my opinion! I'm now determined to be reborn as a major financial institution C.E.O.! Apparently, these guys have bullet proof contracts and can ROYALLY f**k up, be required to vacate their positions......and then get......wait for it.......a Golden Umbrella! This device opens up (ha ha!) an entire cornucopia of new opportunity - instant retirement, a considerable source of continued income and a standard of living WAY beyond the ideals of all but 1% of the World's population! They don't even have to appear on TV and make a pretense at ANYTHING!
I recall there was a device called a 'pooper scooper'. This is fine for dealing with walnut whips in the back yard. However, on a long walk it would be both cumbersome and a potential hazard if your best friend was tethered to you and suddenly launched at a passing squirrel.
Monday, September 29, 2008
2) Does screwing one eye tight shut, hunching one or, in some cases, both shoulders, leaning one's head slightly to one side and moving with short, sharp exaggerated steps actually make one less wet when walking in the rain?
I think I may have mentioned this place before but, last weekend we had a house guest and went to Jamestown, the site of the first successful British settlement in America. It's about 50 miles from here and on the shore of the Elisabeth (the First) river. 107 men and boys (no women!) made their way here in three ships, the Susan Constant, the Godspeed and the Discovery. Susan Constant was the biggest and had 53 passangers, 17 crew and everything they might need to start a colony including livestock in the hold. It took them five months to get here. Imagine how pleasant that little lot smelt after five months at sea! The smallest ship, Discovery, was 21 souls, 17 of whom were passengers and the bloody things only marginally larger than a domestic bath tub! These pics are of the Susan Constant and the Discovery. Godspeed was off doing something somewhere else and the third ship here was just filling in. These are working, full sized replicas of the originals.
Jen's maiden name is Brewster and, oddly, there was a Brewster in this contingent and there were Brewsters on the Mayflower which came over later.
This flower was also lurking amongst the debris on the beach near Kardamena, looks a bit like a poppy!
The white flower was growing on a dry stony beach surrounded by rubbish....
Please, to all those botanists reading, if you know tell me....
All these flowers were found on the wonderful Greek island of Kos near the town/village of Kardamena
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Tomorrow is the 5th anniversary of Hurricane Juan that came ashore in Nova Scotia and proceeded on to PEI. Coincidence?
It's this guys birthday today - He be 70 dontchano.
So, and as it's Sunday, (and on the radio be 'Steve Wright's Sunday Love Songs'), I thought that perhaps I should put this song forward as the best one that we all know him for.
PS: Did ya all know that this guy, (being lead singer for, 'The Drifters'), left the band because when asking for a pay rise, he was refused!! (The rest as they say, is history.
Enjoy, and have a great Sunday.
PS: The Desert Dweller, (With 'The Lovely Lady Lynn' in tow), flys out tomorrow to a some what different clime to what he is used to as he heads to the US and the start of 'The Great New England States Road Trip'.
Will try to pop in when I can, but if not, you can be guaranteed some great pics on my return.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever,
smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it
still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar,
the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE
named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do
love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle'
the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human
hears him, is he still a bad Dog?
Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand
signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have
Friday, September 26, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
So, effectively, by not enforcing its regulatory measures, the Government is complicit in the current massive - and let's not mince words here - melt-down. In other words, the monkeys are now seeking to buy and run the zoo - WITH MY MONEY!
This does nothing for the poor sod (and you can say 'caveat emptor' as much as you like) who was sold a mortgage and a ration of bullshit about how most people only own a house for 5 years before TRADING UP and the interest only mortgage with a two and a half percent interest rate on a principal five times his income was a REAL DEAL - until gasoline prices tripled and he couldn't afford the payments any more!
Basically, not only did Wall Street bog up big time in a free market economy, they're now about to be bailed out by a complicit government - effectively making these institutions State owned (now, where exactly does that fit in a free market?), but THEY'RE OFF THE HOOK! And, you can bet, the buggers in charge will be paid MASSIVE 'golden parachutes' when they 'resign'.
I'm sorry, but didn't we go through something similar with Enron? Weren't those executives imprisoned for hoodwinking their shareholders and buying favours?
What is it about this picture that I don't get?
Monday, September 22, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Well, it appears our African-American friends have found yet something else to be pissed about. A black congresswoman (this would be Sheila Jackson Lee, of Houston), reportedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding names.
She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture such as Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal. I am NOT making this up!
She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in 'language' that street people can understand because one of the problems that happened in New Orleans was, that black people couldn't understand the seriousness of the situation, due to the racially biased language of the weather report.
I guess if the weather person says that the winds are going to blow at 140+ MPH, that's too hard to understand
I can hear it now: A weatherman in New Orleans says...
Wazzup, mutha-f***as! Hehr-i-cane Chamiqua be headin' fo' yo ass like Leroy on a crotch rocket!
Bitch be a category fo'! So, turn off dem chitlins, grab yo' chirren, leave yo crib, and head fo' de nearest FEMA office fo yo FREE shit!
FYI: FEMA is the Federal Emergency (Mis)Management Agency)
'Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?'
'I can cut them for you' said the pharmacist but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection '
'I am 96,' said the old man. 'I don't want an erection. I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piddle on my slippers
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Hope this takes the sting out of your latest speed episode, Alex. Also hope this doesnt post twice as I tried it but hit the wrong button to post, so I am keeping my fingers crossed as Paul knows I do get carried away posting videos sometimes - eh, Paul:)
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
We went for a meal first with our friends, and it was the start of a very good evening, - well, my friend Ariel and I killed a nice bottle of Reisling between us! but the food was great too. All in all a great time. Got the weekend off to a good start.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
"Why on earth do you have a bloody great gong in your bedroom?" Enquired one of the friends.
"Ash's nodda gong," Slurred the drunk, "Ash's a talkin' ashtral clock!"
"Talking astral clock? What ARE you talking about?" asked his pal.
"Lemme show you..." Said the drunk and picked up the hammer. He swung at the gong which emitted an deep, ear shattering BONGGGGGGG! The three stood looking at each-other as the reverberations died away, their eyes gradually coming back into focus.
From the other side of the wall they heard, "By the stars! It's half past two in the f**king morning!"
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
"No," Said the shopkeeper, "I do not".
"Thank you" Said the duck and left.
The next day, the duck went into the shop and asked the shopkeeper, "Do you sell duck food?"
The shopkeeper said, "NO! I DO NOT!"
"Thanks" Said the duck and left.
On the third day, the duck went into the store and asked, "Do you sell duck food?"
"Look," Said the shopkeeper, "I didn't sell it yesterday, I didn't sell it the day before and I don't sell it today and, if you come in tomorrow and ask again, I'll nail your feet to the floor!"
"Thank you" Said the duck - and left.
The next day, the duck came into the shop and asked, "Do you sell nails?"
"NO!" Shouted the shopkeeper.
"Good!" Said the duck, "Do you sell duck food?"
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
“Oh,” Came the reply, “Champagne…………….champagne makes me think of……of……..desert islands.…….with the hot, golden sun shining relentlessly down from an almost clear, bright blue sky……..of little wisps of cloud being caressed by a cooling breeze……..of sea gulls whirling in the sky, their distant mewing suspended in the air……….of the whispering palm fronds gently rustled by the wind………… of the tiny cotton-wool caps on the tops of the perfect little waves and the hissssssss, hissssssssss as they kiss the shoreline……of the blonde, bronzed, naked youth running towards me across the golden sand……running, running…..he reaches me……we embrace….we kiss….we fall to the ground in each-others grasp and make passionate love………..and anyway, beer makes me fart!
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Wife returns from Italy smiling relaxed happy.Husband says seems to me you had a good trip.Yes she replied the best.So where is my Italian Lady he asked with a smile. Oh yes wife replied, all sorted and Italian request is on its way. What he replied are you serious.
Oh yes wife replied promise you it will be here in nine months but it is pot luck if it is male or female !
Monday, September 01, 2008
Dear Mary, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you. Love, John
Mary, with hurt feelings, asked her colleagues for any snapshots they could spare of their boyfriends, brothers, ex-boyfriends, uncles, cousins etc.
In addition to the picture of John, Mary included all the other pictures
of the pretty lads she had collected from her buddies.
There were 57 photos in that envelope along with this note:
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the f**k you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care, Mary
…..but can somebody explain this piece of sculpture found in a small, traditional, French village. The first photo shows the front of the sculpture, the second the obverse. I’m sure I must be drawing the wrong conclusions. The first reader with rational explanation will as usual win a signed photo of Dmitri.